The Joy

Last night, the milonga was on fire. There was a huge turn-out and the vibe was so upbeat and joyous, you felt bliss just being in the room. Although I danced almost all night, I also sat and watched, marveling at all the manifestations of our dance.

I have been struggling with a sense of apathy and "numbness" in life - a common "re-entry" issue for anyone having lived through the goal-oriented nature of a traumatic event. Nothing seems to get my juices going or motivate me. It's very frustrating, as I have traditionally been one of those annoyingly "exuberant" people.

But during several of my many tandas last night, I caught myself smiling. Nay, grinning! Broadly! The music, the embrace, that extraordinary experience of blending completely with another person in perfect harmony - ah.

The Joy is here. In this place. Not necessarily the milonga, but in the tango embrace. While I sort out the rest of my life, and allow the healing to return my natural happiness to its rightful place, I can always count on My Tango to take me there, and remind me of all that is good about being alive.

We often joke about the anonymity of Tango: we rarely know each other's last names; sometimes we just know each other by nicknames (El Flaco, Ms. Polka Dot Shoes); and rarely know much about each other's lives beyond the doors of the milonga. I almost think it has to be this way. Not all of us are angels. Maybe not even very nice people "out there". If we all knew each other's foibles, how many of us would choose to accept a dance, much less press up so intimately against each other?

I believe that Tango has the potential to bring out the best in each of us, at least while in the embrace. We surrender our egos; leave prickly personality traits at the table; and cease to be CEOs, taxi drivers, engineers, unemployed. We replace all our externals with a purity of spirit, a generosity of kindness, splendid caring. And when these elements flow freely between partners, it is

The Joy